It’s been quite a while since the last update. Christmas has come and gone. The nursing home held a lovely Christmas party, with the typical reenactment of Mary and Joseph traveling by foot and asking for food and lodging (posada) before the birth of Christ. They invited us to carry the statue of the “pilgrims” to the door as they sang the traditional verses requesting a place to stay for the night.
What Gabriel liked most was the tamales and punch, especially the sweet tamales. He still craves sweets and enjoys eating very much.
So we continue to go to the bakery on Wednesdays and Fridays, where we sit and share a piece of cake and he drinks some hot chamomile tea. We have added a walk to the grocery store, which is just 2 blocks away. He enjoys the short walk and looking at all the different products in the store.
His favorite thing to do now is to count the cars in the parking lot, and to watch the cars at the intersection where the bakery is located. With five streets coming together, he tries to guess which way the cars are going to turn. And he gets excited when a large bus passes by.
After five months since I last wrote, the deterioration is notable. The nursing home coordinator told me he doesn’t do word finding puzzles anymore. So I worked with him to try to do one together to see why he has stopped, and I noted that he no longer understands the objective of reading a word in a list and then finding that word in the table of letters. Fortunately he still plays guitar, though they tell me that he is playing fewer songs and for less time. And not every day.
He is now getting tremors in his hands. Not always, but frequently. It’s most notable when he brings his fork or cup to his mouth. And he spits out his saliva many times during our walks. His psychologist told me that the tremors are related to the dementia beginning to affect the motor functioning of the brain. We’re not sure why he spits out his saliva, perhaps he doesn’t know that he is suppose to swallow it.
My favorite dementia expert, Teepa Snow, refers to the dementia process as the changing brain. As with most things, I don’t notice change until it becomes obvious. WIth Gabriel, his brain seems to be changing quickly, though I don’t see it until a new symptom appears. And with each new symptom comes the reminder that his illness is progressive. I want to hang on to what we have, but what we have keeps changing, and the ability to maintain a connection becomes more and more limited. He still tries to converse, but he is lacking so many words that I have to guess about what he is asking: Are you putting with someone? Are you still doing doing? If you want I can.
So I say yes when I think that’s the answer that he wants to hear, and no when I think perhaps the answer he wants to hear is no. Regardless of what I say, he always responds with “Que padre” (that’s cool).
Other than his brain and the slight tremor and saliva issues, physically he is doing pretty well. Though he walks more slowly, trips more frequently, and gets tired more quickly. But we still enjoy eating and walking and smiling and loving. One of the bakery employees told me yesterday that she loves to see us. She said there is so much love and so much attentiveness, it fills the whole environment.
Regardless of his changing brain, I am going to hang on to the love and attentiveness as long as possible.
Thank you for reading and for accompanying me. If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to leave a comment below.
With much love,
Elena
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